The Translucent Me ..........

Gauteng, South Africa
I was born in the Summer of '69 & the era which is commonly known as "Flowa Powa", "Free Love" and "Contraband Narcotics" - hell, of course that potentially had no positive contribution as to how my life actually did transpire - smiles. Oh, how I still look for plausible reasons or excuses as to why my life followed the winding, topsy, turvy, upside down, inside out, and back to front spiral that it did. Now, eventually I am translucent ....... I am me, what was - was, what is - is, what will be - is still to come. Hmmmm, exciting very exciting.

Welcome to the Translucent World of Translucency - H, OM & W + H, F & C .....

Oxford English Dictionary - Translucent / tranz-loo-suhnt, adj, allowing light to pass through partially; semi-transparent. ORIGIN - Latin translucere 'shine through'

Ever wondered how the Magician (The many Thangs that blow my hair back kind of a Thang - lol!) of Translucency maintains its weightlessness, graceful movement & no general concern of what - was, what - is and what - will be .......... the ever elusive and awe inspiring Jellyfish.

NTS (Note to Self) - aim to become luminously translucent in this life ........

The Translucency "Thang" of being luminously transparent

The Translucency "Thang" of being luminously transparent
Now, wouldn't that just be one Helleva Thang ..........?

If I give you some"thang", is it yours ....?

The many "Thangs" that blow my hair back ........

  • A bubble bath without the Champers
  • A good conversation & a healthy debate
  • Absolute gratitude for a new shot at life
  • Agreeing to Disagree
  • Being a Mother, Daughter, Sister, Granddaughter, Friend, Godmother (finally am the Lover part ..... smiles)
  • Being loved
  • Chocolate & Strawberry milkshake that leaves a moustache on my top lip
  • Creme Brule
  • Falling in love
  • Getting out of bed every morning and giving thanks for another Beautifully Exquisite Day
  • Giggling so much that my tummy hurts
  • Having my Man tell me that I am beautiful and for once I actually believe it
  • Hearing my favourite song on the radio and singing to it at the top of my lungs
  • Holding hands with my Man!
  • Jellyfish
  • Kissing my Dad on his bald patch and him winking and saying that since yesterday 3 new hairs have sprouted because of that "baldy patch" kiss
  • Laughing at myself even though those around me ARE paying attention
  • Laughing for absolutely no reason at all
  • Laughing so hard that my face hurts and realizing I have acquired a few extra laugh lines
  • Lying in bed and really listening to the rain outside
  • Making new friends or spending time with old ones
  • Midnight phone calls that last for hours
  • Most definately "Addict" parfum by C.D.
  • Riding the best roller coaster over and over and each time I tell my daughter never again
  • Road trips with friends
  • Runing into an old friend and realizing that some things haven't changed but I have
  • Swinging on a swing as high as I can
  • That special glance from My Man
  • That special kiss that leaves me with butterflies in my tummy
  • The sand between my toes at the beach
  • The smell of puppy breath
  • The word "copious" ..... so expressive I can see it, touch it, feel it
  • Watching my 17 year old daughter sleeping, I actually catch my breath and I know then what unconditional love is
  • Watching the expression on my loved ones faces as they open a much desired present which was under "that same" *wink* Christmas Tree, but they never had the chance to prod and peep at it like I did
  • Watching the sunrise and promising myself that I will never sleep whilst the Sun shines
  • When my daughter puts her arms around me and whispers in my ear - "I love you, Mommy Darling"
  • When my daughter still to this day, always brings me a flower from wherever she has been just to say- "I love you, Mom"
  • Wrapping presents under the Christmas Tree and prodding and peeping at a gift that has my name on it - cheeky hey?

That Translucent "Thang" - Eyes are the window to the Soul ........

That Translucent "Thang" - Eyes are the window to the Soul ........
The Actress

The Saboteur

The Intensifier

The Forward Thinker

The Chameleon

The Owner

The Giver

The Woman

The Translucent

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

FESTA or FAMES ....... both Latin, now isn't that a coincidence!

Yes, yes I know ........... it's been a while since I have taken the time to let my fingers and thoughts plough and sift relentlessly so as to offer some insight as to what is happening in my life. Hmmmm, well now that I have willed myself to sit here and do just that. The first ramblings that come to mind are, yes, you guessed it - FESTA or FAMES.
I have yet to understand how the dynamics of "in the now" actually transpire ........ however, I know that if I ponder too long on this I am liable to take myself to the precipice of insanity - smiles, does this sound melodramatic, hell yes, I believe it does .......... lol.

Anyway, let me get back to FESTA or FAMES - this seems to be the journey of my life, never a "happy medium", loneliness has for a long while been real in my life and I have put my request out to the Universe and have sometimes not so quietly questioned and interrogated the Universe as to when I will be receiving my request - Patience is always the first word that springs to mind and yes, I patiently wait. Whilst patiently waiting, the request seems to be unfolding in front of my eyes.

Yes, it has become a FESTA, however, I know what happens with a FESTA = OVER INDULGENCE purely due to the fact that the menu is so varied and interesting that being but a mere mortal (lol) I want to savour and experience each individual experience seperately but also combined. Is this wrong? Does this make me any less of a person? Does the juggling compromise who I know I am? I am over analyzing as always, yes, this I know ....... instead of just being "in the now".

Perhaps, this is just exactly what it is meant to be - FESTA and not FAMES, because FAMES is what I have lived with for a long while and now perhaps, again I am privileged to be enjoying a FESTA!

VIVA FESTA, VIVA ........... smiles

Monday, November 12, 2007

Maturing like a superb Red Wine, tell that to the Bones!

Ok, by anyones standards 38 years young is not old, right? I said right, I can't hear the affirmative reply from anyone ......... hmmmmm, starting to get worried now! I find that I am at 38 years young really reflecting on life. Ok, ok don't say one word, please this is a sensitive issue as it is, with me. My Dad always refers to it as "counting his past sins" - lol, I think I am doing the same and there is a 22 year age gap between my Dad and I. It's like looking into a Crystal Ball at the past and wondering why I ever chose to make certain decisions and if I hadn't made those decisions how different would my life have turned out. I know I will never know ..... that for me is just the craziest notion - not knowing! I also ponder in great length whether I would actually want to change my lifes journey because if I hadn't travelled my specific road, I definately would not be the person I am today. So, it almost feels like Double Jeopardy ......... smiles.

I must say this though that I am finally friends with the person I am today, I love the person I am today, I like the person I am today ............ so, then based on how I feel about myself I am not going to ponder too much on the above and just say this - my life is good, there is always room for improvement but for now my life is good.

I am a grateful 38 years young Somebody just for today and Maturing like a superb Red Wine - smiles, although the Bones tend to disagree sometimes, aaaaaah, there I go again ........... STOP!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Squeeze the Fat out of the Snake ...... why don't ya?

Today, my father & I went "affirmative look-seeing", we were actually doing some reconnaissance. Ok, ok, nothing cloak & dagger ............ smiles. I must admit that whenever I am in my Dads company we always seem to have a hearty laugh. He really knows how to get me chortling from the depths of my stomach. Allow me to quickly give you some insight as to where & how todays Title came about ............ lol, lol, lol!

My Dad is the owner of a Cobra Motorcar which he thoroughly enjoys entertaining himself with, quite sweet to see him driving it actually, with his sparse hairs on his head, (which I try and intimidate to grow by planting a kiss on his bald patch every so often - lol), he looks soooo young and care free and I know it gets his adrenalin pumping. Oh, how I love you my Daddy-Birdie - smiles.

Anyway, where was I, aaaaaah yes - we were returning from our reconnaissance on our way back to the "grindstone" - work, when we drive past a house (my Dad has seen that the owner of the house is also the proud owner of a Cobra Motorcar - Dad has never met the Owner), so Dad pipes up and says - "Damn, I can never get to see this Gent and Squeeze the Fat out of the Snake", so you guessed it I start laughing hysterically and my Dad's begins laughing as well. I then say, "Dad, what did you just say?" and he says " I would love to Squeeze the Fat out of the Snake with that Gent", he stops laughing and looks at me as though I have just said that the Moon is made of Cheese. The penny then drops in my mind and I then put two and two together and get five. What my Dad was actually saying was that he would love to sit down and and compare notes and chat (Squeeze the Fat out of) with a Fellow Cobra (the Snake) Motorcar Owner.

I enjoyed his expression so much I had to share it with you all ............... isn't it funny how something so trivial to most people can actually just make the rest of my day brighter. Thank you for making me laugh today Daddy-Birdie, you have no idea how you touch my soul.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Under the weather .......... ugh!

Even though today is a beautiful day, feeling really under the weather today .............. so not going to bore anyone with my "tales of woe" - it's my shiaaat and I'll deal with it. Not looking forward to this weekend, with a home jammed with bodies that take up every inch of space, ugh! Anyway, enjoy the weekend all and I'm quite sure the new week will bring it's life's challenges & interesting drama. Adieu ..........

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Sardines in a Tin, Sausage in a Skin ..... think about it!?

Yes, I know I haven't blogged for a few days (my bad!). The days have run away with me and the desire hasn't been there ............ aaaaaaw poor baby. I have openly extended my hospitality to some friends of mine to come and share my living space as they are in a bit of a pickle. No, I am not trying to be a Martyr, I know that they would have done the same for me if the circumstance was reversed.

You know you are becoming set in your ways (and boy oh boy), I think I definately am. When it takes every inch of self control & pleasantries to keep on saying to yourself - "this is only temporary ...........". There currently is 5 (3 adults & 2 children - age 5 & 18 months) of us in an apartment that is meant for 2 people only (& no animals) - so, am I feeling just a tad claustrophobic, you got that right! Sardines in a Tin, Sausage in a Skin. Oh, did I mention that there are 5 felines as well, 2 female cats (1 of which is nursing her 3 kittens). These felines don't belong to me (I suffer from asthma) but belong to my friends, they all come as a package deal (not sure if I should laugh or cry).

The 5 year old is used to having space i.e. a garden where he can literally vent all his super-charged energy and now he is being made to harness that super-charged energy in a confined & a helleva lot smaller living space which adds to his aggravation and yes, you guessed it to mine as well. His baby brother of 18 months behaves like any normal 18 month old - if we can reach it, touch it, play with it and put it in our mouths - we will!

My home really is not "children friendly nor children proof" and I am loathe to start packing & hiding away .............. "don't touch"- should be the order of the day. But, then hey - say "don't touch" to most children is like putting sweeties in front of them and telling them they aren't allowed any. I should know this - my daughter was a "childrens" - 17 years & 2 months ago today - smiles, where has the time gone? It feels like just yesterday that I held this Beautiful Being in my arms - *grins* I feel I am getting this far away look in my eyes whilst I linger along memory lane ...........

Walking around "my space" in my birthday suit, leaving the loo door open whilst sitting on the throne, lying in the bath with the door open because it's all hot & steamy and I can feel a bout of Premature Menopause Sacrificial Roast Leg of Lamb Hot Over Ripe Tomato coming on ...... is definately out of the question ............. grin and bear it, says I - it's only temporary.

Please don't get me wrong I am happy that I am in a position to extend a helping hand to good friends. Like they say there is a lesson to be learnt in everything that transpires ........ So, your next question is going to be, "so what is the lesson" - um, well I will always be grateful for the solitude that I have when I choose it and I won't complain that I am lonely. The universe heard my complaint of loneliness and sent me company in ABUNDANCE .......... lol.

Oh, the green, green hills of chosen solitude really seem so enticing again ........... the Sardines are welcome to their Tin & The Sausage is welcome to it's Skin. I prefer to be the Island when I choose, thank you very much.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Premature Menopausal Sacrificial Roast Leg of Lamb Hot Over Ripe Tomato - can you dig it???

I have never had the opportunity of setting my eyes on the green, green hills of Ireland ....... if they are as beautiful & meandering as we get to see on the Big Screen then perhaps I should contemplate seeing them, or what say you? Hmmmmm, perhaps my reluctance to be bold and brave comes about, due to the perpetual "weather conditions". My psyche (if I can put it that way) would potentially have a very hard time adjusting to grey, rainy & cold. Being a native of a country where the Sun shines more days than not and the temperature very rarely goes below 22 deg C in summer and perhaps 0 deg C in winter ............... now, do you understand?

I have however, had the opportunity of visiting Germany in winter which was all fine and well because it was for a Holiday ........... the snow was pristine and festivity was in the air and in the back of my mind I knew that it wouldn't be toooo long and I would be back home again where the Sun shone bright. What does stand out for me was the artificial heating wherever we went. Whilst I understand the necessity of artificial heating in homes, shops & malls, here's the "thang"*whisper* - I felt like a sacrificial lamb. Hot & bothered all the time ........... and now you are going to say - "but you should be used to the heat, as you come from a country where the summers are hot" - well, yes I am but the heat that I enjoy is natural heat. Am I making sense, lol, most probably not. I remember always having flushed rosy cheeks and feeling as though I was going through my "menopausal years (hot flushes)" which I wasn't because then I was in my late 20's and nowhere near menopause!

Before I attempted to brave the outdoors, my Sacrificial Lamb Ritual was ..............

  • On with my shoes - in a German household everyone walks around the house in House Shoes??? You leave your Outside Shoes at the door.

  • On with my Jersey

  • On with my Scarf - wrapped around my neck twice so I looked like one of those woman from a tribe that puts rings around her neck to make her neck longer (apparently helps her with finding a husband, long necks are supposedly very sexy???)

  • On with my Winter Jacket - by now I felt like a hugely oversized Michelin Man (you know that Orange One) & also by now the Sacrificial Roast Leg of Lamb

  • On with my Gloves

  • By this time I had started to show signs of "premature menopause", tiny beads of perspiration on my top lip and a face that looked like a "roast leg of lamb - cooked to perfection, medium to rare on the inside & outside - U G L Y!

The above-mentioned all being done under duress and now taking the bold step outside where the temperature is REALLY COLD. You guessed it, now my nose would instantly start to run, picture Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or better yet Patch Adams, I could have shown them both a "thang" or two. Got in the car and away w

e go to our destination. It didn't end there - in the car, with all these millions of layers of clothing and the heater on - RED meaning damn Hot. I start unravelling myself in the car -scarf off, gloves off, oh what the hell let the jacket stay (the beads of perspiration haven't gone anywhere, still on my top lip!) sitting on the wrong side of the car as well as the wrong side of the road - takes a while for my brain to sort that one out (lol) ............ yihaaaaa, I am FINE (F***ing, Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional). The traffic lights (we call them Robots in SA) are also all in the wrong place, you have to strain your neck (this is where I secretly wished I was one of those Long Necked Tribeswoman) in order to see whether we must STOP or GO through the windscreen. We finally got to our destination - and now the whole scenario starts again, wind my neck up, on with the gloves and Hoooooray we braved the Mall!

Artificial heating at it's best - by this time my face now looks like a really hot over ripe tomato, ever had one of those (lol)? To eat I mean, not GREAT! The unravelling starts all over again, unwind my neck, take off my gloves and my jacket, and I hold all of these clothing items together with my handbag over one arm - no wonder I suffer from a bit of tennis elbow (lol). I looked like a Pack Horse, dammit - all I needed was the theme song for High Chaperal playing in the background and that scene wouldn't have to be shot again. It's a WRAP people!

So, now do you sympathise? Premature Menopausal Sacrificial Roast Leg of Lamb Hot Over Ripe Tomato ........... you can't get better than that (lol), or maybe you can - convince me, tsk, tsk ..........

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Pensive today .......... ugh!

Hmmmmm, hello - in a pensive mood today! So I think I am going to hold out until tomorrow and then I will let me fingers do the walking over the keyboard ..........

Monday, October 22, 2007

& here you all thought I never REALLY had a word with John ..........

Wow, what a helleva "thang" this weekend was .............. Thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish! Had a really lovely day with my daughter and friends for my Birthday on Saturday - and it was sooooo awesome that I received so many congratulatory phone calls & texts. Thank you everybody, I was a chuffed SOMEBODY (wasn't sure that at my years young ;-) people still cared to remember).

I said in my previous post that I had whispered in John Smits ear regarding bringing home the Cup for my Birthday ............ hehehehe (Told you all that I did). What absolute nail biting stuff, I was sitting in a Pub with friends watching the game and screaming as if my life depended on it - still have a bit of a "Tina Turner in Drag" voice today, you know the husky type - smiles. So that really was the 'cherry on the top" for me regarding my Birthday - thanks to John and the whole Springbok Team for making my Birthday a memorable one - I owe you one!

So, now that I am 1 year younger in the scheme of things ....... I know that the next year ahead is going to be a beautiful year of changes, possibilities and definate growth - phew, who ever thought .........

Always slays me that in my life it is either feast of famine there is no mediocre balance (I know this statement won't make sense to anyone, hmmmmm, as long as I know what I mean - grins).

Feeling really lazy now and I still have things to do when I leave the office, so I bid you all a very pleasant eve and look forward to what tomorrow brings .......... mwah

Friday, October 19, 2007

Mornings are but for the few who choose

Slept like a baby last night despite a fiasco of a day ........... suprisingly no Blogging nightmares, thank goodness (lol). I was up early this morning bright & breezy and had my derriere at work by 7:30am, some of you who know me know that in the past I definately was not a MORNING person. Seems to get easier now that I don't have that crazed disposition (mad woman from Borneo, ring a bell?) and now I know that the rewards will be worthwhile & beneficial to all.

Looking forward to tomorrow as the Amabokaboka (our very own Green & Gold) are in a titan World Cup Final against the English as well as it being my birthday, hmmmmm, asked the Bokkies to ensure that they bring home the Cup as that would be an absolutely priceless gift (had a personal chat with John Smit, smiles) and he said that it would his pleasure to bring it home for "me birfday". Smiles, had a Happy Birfday sing-a-long here at work with staff & family with a card & 38 cents (hehehehe) enclosed to celebrate my milestone together with 3 lovely cakes .......... ;-) Well, I am getting ready to leave my keyboard & my screen behind for the weekend as I am needing to pick my daughter up from school. So, all enjoy the weekend and trusting that you will all shout yourselves hoarse for OUR BOYS tomorrow. Adieu for now .....

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Practical without the Theory ..........

Hmmmmm, and yet again I am pleasantly surprised by human kind ........... today has been a very expressive & interactive day at the grindstone. Marketing ideas and formats being punched out and sent back & forth. I have in the recent months made a very dear friend via another correspondence medium and I asked for assistance today regarding Marketing and it was his unbelievably invaluable (extremely useful) input that I am so grateful for .......... thank you so much to the "Daahling" from CT ............ *cheek, cheek**kiss, kiss* & a *wink*

Always good to have an objective opinion with the backing of theory. I don't have the theory regarding Sales & Marketing to call my own, however, practical experience is my forte'. Some really great comments were given by him which tells us we are on the right track - yihaaaaa.

So, the day has progressed and can anyone please tell me how a positive start to the day can finally conclude in an abomination, can someone please shoooooooot me! The remainder of the day as from lunch time has been filled with insecurities, mud slinging, raised voices and heated arguments ............ all I want to do is move forward into the future. However, I am unable to do that when emotions get involved in business. I am not able to take over the reins, when the Rider is still holding on by a thread due to having loss of control issues .............. get over it, I do love you, despite all this ............ we are connected by blood.

Perhaps, all will be well even though it didn't end well. Hope shines eternal ............... ;-)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Day is but an Embryo (lol) but could hatch at any moment

Didn't sleep well last night, was tossing and turning with thoughts running through my mind about blogging! Can you imagine ........... BLOGGING, BLOGGING, damn BLOGGING. Woke up this morning to brave the day feeling as though my head was a Highway for a steam train. Got to work attended to our driver and "patiently" made sure that he gets his toosh out on the road and make money. Only to be confronted with one of those "you need to draw me a picture" looks from him ............. aaaaaah the joys of staff. Why is it that when a staff member has been absent for a day and returns it's as though everything that they have learnt over the 4 years that they have been with you seems to been wiped from the hard drive in 1 DAY!

The teaching process starts all over again, but wait, it gets better - the teaching process is harder this time because in the interim he has gotten older and potentially the receptiveness is not that "sharp" anymore. Anyway, enough lamentation. At least he is on his way today to bigger and greater things. With baited breath I wait for his return and hope that the "spark" will still be in his eyes and that he would have "got it". Hmmmmmm, my breath is indeed baited and I feel myself going blue in the face due to oxygen deprivation ............ pheeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww.

Thank goodness I am not a balloon otherwise I would now be suspended against the ceiling - lol. And so the day progresses, funny how when it starts off shaky it seems to gain vicious momentum and no matter how hard one tries, the inevitable happens - aaaaah, a downward spiral. Well, there is that saying that goes something like this - hehehe, like attracts like. Wonder who ever said that - would love to annihilate him/her at this point.

Ok, so here is finally how the day transpired - no unusual eventualities that we seem to have on most days. We have finally vetoed, concluded and printed Sales & Marketing "pretty, pretty's" that I can use as a fundamental tool in procuring new business. Hell, the universe does listen - smiles.

Really excited that I have all the Marketing "pretty, pretty's" at my disposal in order to go out and Famously hook new business, just a few things to iron out still.

Damn, still feel like a fledgling around Blogspot and seem to be doing the same thing over and over again .......... ugh! Opening window after window, hmmmmm, trial & error & damn how I hate trial & error. Suppose practise eventually makes perfect. Who's your Mama? PERFECT, here I come ...... lol. Lets hope that tomorrow will bode better for me regarding BLOGGING ........ the proof is in the pud, Dahlings (lean forward - cheek, cheek, kiss, kiss)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Still at? - Noooooo, you couldn't have guessed .........

WORK, I have nothing better to do right now - No hubby to dash home to, no children to attend to. So here I sit crouched (definately doesn't help a spastic colon that plays up every now and then) in front of my the screen with my fingers moving frantically over the keyboard, hoping that I will eventually get to grips with Blogging .......... hmmm, still feel a bit like a "needle in a haystack" - yes, people I am lost. Find myself, going in and out various applications only to find that I have been there before. Sigh ........... there is still hope as have wanted to dabble in blogging for a while and hooray, today is the day that I actually braved the inevitable and finally found the time (what's that?) & plucked up the courage! A tick on my TO DO LIST ....... (lol)